No one is perfect. Things happen. And when they do, we often get upset and beat ourselves up. We might react with defensiveness or keep apologizing again and again, which usually makes things worse. It’s important to respond in a calm and confident way, while demonstrating that you care about what happened.
The other person who has been disappointed will have two needs at that time:
- To be heard and understood
- Resolution of some kind
Here is a simple process that can support and guide you when things go wrong:
- Stay calm
- Let the other person say what they feel without interruption or defensiveness
- Apologize once in a clear, thoughtful and heartfelt way
- Offer a solution, compromise, or alternative
- If applicable, thank them for understanding
- Acknowledge yourself for your effort to handle the issue well
- Be gentle with yourself and let go of any judgements that come forward for something going wrong.
You may want to keep this on hand as a resource because when things go wrong you usually aren’t able to think clearly at first. Having a guideline can help you stay calm and find your way to a peaceful resolution.
And remember, you can’t be human in a human world without an occasional OOPS.
If you would like the support of a professional and experienced coach, you can contact me here.
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Linda, you have a great short protocol for a chewy sort of situation. Well done! I look forward to reading more.
I needed to read this today. I am dealing with a sensitive situation with a team member and i know. The is the right way to bring it up, but I have not yet confronted her.Thanks for ring this up.
Glad to hear the timing was right for you. I’m getting emails from other people too. Light to your issue with the other team member.
Great advice Linda – thank you! I love how you lay out clear steps so we can address and resolve issues rather than have them fester within us and the other person.
warm wishes,
Cindy
Thank you. I love that it is even possible to be of service.
You know, I’ve been dealing with this — My hard drive had to be replaced in December when it started to fail. It was in the shop for several days and I was out of commission. Then, just last week the new hard drive completely failed and it was gone for nearly a week. I missed deadlines and have felt SO horrible about the whole situation, I’m sure I probably apologized more than was necessary. It was really hard for me to get to the place where I’d acknowledged that I’d done all I could do with the situation, it’s hard to just let go of things sometimes.
Melissa: I spent the day with one of your clients and she mentioned you had computer issues. She was very understanding about it. No need to worry…
Great advice… I may quibble about the order- but I can see this order working for certain situations, as well.